'We gave up baby to go to Oz': Family tell of anguish as they leave an HIV-positive toddler behind to give a better life to their other children.

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'We gave up baby to go to Oz': Family tell of anguish as they leave an HIV-positive toddler behind to give a better life to their other children.

Sunday Times, South Africa - July 4, 1999
Ronnie Govender


WHEN he was just four months old, Sipho was abandoned in the Durban railway station toilets.

The HIV-positive baby was taken in by Janelle Lee Mulholland and her family in the Durban suburb of Hillary.

But yesterday, the heartbroken Mulhollands, who had grown to love the "latest addition" to their family, had to bid the boy - now two and a half - a sad farewell as they left Durban for Perth, Australia.

They were emigrating and Sipho (not his real name) would not be allowed to live with them as he had tested HIV-positive.

Sipho has been placed in the foster care of a close relative - who may not be identified - after urgent meetings with welfare authorities on Friday.

"I've lost one of my children today," an emotional Mulholland said before her departure. "He is such a special person. He means more to us than anything in the world."

She said her husband and three biological sons, aged 16, 14 and 13, were devastated that the toddler had to be left behind in South Africa.

"It has been trying on us all," she said, before breaking down and sobbing. "It's no fun watching your 16-year-old son cry like a baby because he has to leave his youngest brother behind.

"We've had to make the most difficult decision of our lives and sacrifice one of our children for the other three."

The Mulhollands, who have been foster parents for the past four years, applied for Australian residency more than two years ago.

Sipho, the ninth baby placed in their care, had been with the Mulhollands for 24 months.

Though they have still to find jobs in Australia, the Mulhollands were optimistic their many applications would bear fruit soon.

"We decided to emigrate a long time ago," said Mulholland. "My husband, Michael, has relatives in Perth who had been asking us for a long time to come over. Besides, emigrating is the only way we feel we can secure a better future for our children."

A senior immigration officer at the Australian Embassy in Pretoria would not comment on the Mulholland case because he was bound by the Australian Privacy Act.

But he did say: "All people who want to visit Australia for more than 12 months have to undergo medical checks. If a problem is found that would cost the Australian government more than R66 000 a year, such an applicant would be considered a burden on the Australian community and the application would be turned down."

The couple approached the Durban High Court in June to obtain custody of Sipho after deciding to take him to Australia. He was not included in their original application for Australian residency because he was not part of their family at the time.

But the Mulhollands withdrew their custody application this week after it was found by a family advocate, appointed by the High Court, that the Australian authorities would revoke their residency permit if they adopted Sipho.

"At the time the baby was placed with us, he was malnourished and appeared totally neglected," Mulholland told the court in her application.

Earlier, Sipho had undergone the standard medical examinations to determine suitability for adoption.

"In August 1997, we were informed the baby was HIV-positive and there was no prospect of his being adopted. We were urged by the social workers to give him up to a home as they felt it would be too stressful on our natural children for him to continue to stay with us."

Sipho was placed in the Edith Benson Children's Home.

"I continued to visit him regularly and became concerned about his condition," she said.

He subsequently spent three weeks in hospital before being discharged.

It was then that the Mulhollands insisted on taking Sipho home with them. "He has been with us ever since."

As the Mulhollands prepared to board their flight to Perth, Sipho faced going to the Lily of the Valley children's home until his last-minute placement with a relative of the Mulhollands.

"During the time he has been with us, we've come to love him dearly. We regard him as an integral part of our family."

Mulholland said she and her husband's family had made inquiries about Sipho's infection and had found that insurance was available for him and he could have been treated in Australia.
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